For the Win:
- Did a good job portraying the protagonist's squeamishness at the DIY operation he was undergoing.
- Did a good job portraying the sibling relationship between the protag and his sister.
- A minor plot point that demonstrated my poor understanding of chemistry :(
- A couple of viewpoint errors
- Still not enough information for the (group) readers' tastes about what the protag is after. (It was 95% clear to the "tech guy" in our group, but after all, he's a "tech guy.")